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Department of Orthodontics: Secret Files

WELCOME TO YOUR INDUCTION



IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS MESSAGE, YOU HAVE BEEN INDUCTED AS A MEMBER OF THE DEPARTMENT OF ORTHODONTICS. WE CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR ARRIVAL.

SINCE ITS INCEPTION, THE DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN DEVOTED TO THE PROMOTION OF ORAL HEALTH, YET IT IS NOT WHAT IT APPEARS TO BE. IN TRUTH, THE DEPARTMENT WAS ESTABLISHED BY SUPERVISOR ANDREW D. DENTIN IN 1995 TO HANDLE THE ANOMALOUS THREATS KNOWN AS "DENTOIDS". IT HAS TWO MOTTOS:

  • TO CAPTURE AND STUDY THE GROWING THREAT OF DENTOIDS
  • TO MINIMIZE CIVILIAN KNOWLEDGE OF SUCH ANOMALIES

    • THE FILES ENCLOSED WILL PROVIDE THE NECESSARY KNOWLEDGE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH DENTOIDS, AS WELL AS A RECORD OF THEIR PSYCHOLOGY. IT IS OF NOTE THAT ONE PARTICULAR PAN AMDENTOID, NICKNAMED THE "INCISOR", HAS POSED A SIGNIFICANT THREAT TO THE AUTHORITIES.

    FROM THE MOMENT YOU OPENED THIS LINK, YOUR ACTIVITY HAS BEEN MONITORED BY OUR AGENTS. WE WILL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU SHORTLY TO DISCUSS FURTHER PROCEDURES.

    Signed, Officer Gesia